


Phantom Thief Stole My Heart

by MikaKagehjra



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: I guess I'll add things here as they become relevant, M/M, Phantom Thief AU, a slow burn eiwata phantom thief au, yeah they're not going to actually get together for a bit, yes that's right I'm doing it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 09:11:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7929049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikaKagehjra/pseuds/MikaKagehjra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How could I possibly steal from you when you've so kindly invited me in? ☆"</p><p>"But you have stolen something, Phantom Thief."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"You've stolen my heart."</p><p>The eiwata phantom thief au we all want and deserve.</p><p>ON HIATUS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

He’d left monkshoods this time, the jester from a deck of cards tucked between vibrant purple petals. Written on it is simply “jade statue, 22:00” in silver ink. And with the specified time quickly approaching, Wataru adjusts his mask and gets to work. There is a police presence – there always was, when you announced your crime ahead of time – but that’s what makes the heist fun. It wouldn’t be a thrill if he could get in and out in his sleep, now would it?

And that is the point. As he sneaks past the checkpoints and perimeters the police had so dutifully set up, he knows he’ll return three days from now, priceless artifact in tow, to replace it exactly as he finds it, the only disturbances the ones left by the police during their futile investigation. No one spots him as he finds himself standing before the delicate jade carving of a dragon which is his quarry for the night, and he is careful as always as he packs it away safely. Still, it’s only moments from when he enters the room that he’s leaving, a single masquerade mask sitting on the pedestal where the statue had stood previously.

For someone who always worked in the shadows, he sure does have a flair for the dramatic. In fact, for an extra touch, he finds himself pulling a fire alarm on the way out, showering the police in water as well as suspicion as he makes his getaway with laughter spilling from his lips. He doesn’t leave so much as a scuff on the floor in his wake, his treasure acquired flawlessly, silver hair flying behind him in the wind.

~*~

Eichi isn’t one to read the paper, but for whatever reason a copy of the local news is still delivered to his kitchen table every morning along with his breakfast. He can’t be bothered to banish it, just a small annoyance among many larger ones, but today, the front page catches his eye. A delightfully ornate mask is pictured, along with the headline, “Phantom Thief Spirits Away Yet Another Priceless Item.” And well, Eichi is not a man easily entertained. But a phantom thief… well, it’s the sort of thing you usually only ever hear about in stories. He finds himself pulling the newspaper closer so that he can read it and find out more about this thief.

_The infamous Phantom Thief strikes again! The Arakawa estate was targeted last night in a heist that has the police scrambling to explain. Yesterday morning, a housekeeper found a bouquet of monkshoods with a joker card tucked into it on the dining room table, this particular swindler’s signature warning. The species of flower doesn’t seem to be significant, changing with every target, however the card always states the criminal’s target and what time it will be stolen – a bold move, and perhaps one that made the police overconfident. For last night, despite multiple established perimeters, the antique jade statue the phantom thief singled out as his target was stolen at precisely the time promised. The crook set off the fire alarm while he was there, but that seems to have been purposeful, as he remains at large._

_In the statue’s former place, a mask sits, the thief’s second signature and possibly an assurance that he will return to replace what he stole._

There is more – speculations about this Phantom Thief, what kind of person he might be, his motives, and his past crimes – but Eichi doesn’t do more than skim it. He’s already learned enough to know that he is definitely interested in this person. _Monkshoods… does he know what they mean?_ Instead, he picks up his cell phone, pressing the 2 to call his most (only) trusted person. It’s early, but he’ll be awake. And if he isn’t, he’ll wake up for Eichi.

“Eichi. What do you want?”

Eichi chuckles. Keito sounds grumpy, but not sleepy, which is what he expected. He supposes you really do get to know a person after a decade or two. “Good morning, Keito. Why is it that whenever I call I always have to have some ulterior motive? Can’t I just want to talk to you?”

“That’d be the day. So what is it.”

“My my, such little faith. I simply had the most delicious idea and just had to share it with my best friend, who’s always so supportive of me and all of my endeavors.”

“I am supportive of the things that don’t give me a headache or end with you in the hospital. Your ideas usually do both.”

“Fine, fine, I just won’t tell you, then. It’s not as though I need your help, I just thought you’d be interested—“

“What is it, Eichi.”

“I’m going to meet the Phantom Thief.”

There is a long pause over the line, which Eichi takes advantage of to finally take a bite of his breakfast. He imagines Keito taking the phone away from his ear to stare at it incredulously, jaw working but no sound coming out. He’s probably shocked, and furious, and any moment now Eichi will be hearing—

“You’re insane. You’re not going to do that.”

“Oh, but of course I am, Keito. I’m thinking the bait should be a necklace, the most extravagant money can buy. Maybe one that belonged to someone famous who’s dead – do you think Marie Antoinette had any notable jewelry? I could pass it off as a gift for my mother, she’d adore it, though it might make her suspicious what I’m softening her up for—“

“Eichi. You can’t seriously intend on baiting a potentially dangerous criminal into your home so you can – what? – talk about his childhood? Don’t make me laugh.”

“You don’t sound like you’re laughing to me.”

“I’m not laughing! You’re going to get yourself killed! Besides, no one’s ever so much as caught a glimpse of this guy, even you can’t manage more security than everyone he’s robbed so far.”

Eichi pushes the phone between his shoulder and his ear, getting up to retrieve a laptop from the counter and opening it as he continues his conversation with Keito. “I have no intention of building up a security force. I want to meet him, not catch him.”

“Oh, so you’re inviting him to tea then? Excuse me, I had no idea, that’s so much better.” “Tea sounds like a good idea, actually. C’mon Keito, he’s so interesting – a Phantom Thief, it hardly seems like reality! And a talented one, if these reports I’m reading are anything to go by. Look, he returns everything he steals, he hardly even sounds dangerous to me. Let me live before I die, at least.”

This is only met with an aggravated groan. “You’re utterly impossible. I’ve never met anyone half as stubborn as you. I can’t stop you, can I? You’ve already made up your mind, and you’re dragging me along for the ride, as always.”

Eichi opens up his search engine, typing as he speaks. “I don’t mean to drag you into anything, Keito. Isn’t it the duty of a best friend to know what’s going on in their other half’s life? It’s something exciting, so I thought I’d share. You’re not going to be doing anything, except maybe helping me choose something to lure him with.”

“Don’t call me something like your other half. I’d hate to be that close to you.” Eichi finds some listings for antique necklaces and chooses to ignore that last comment. “Hm, what do you think about tanzanite? I like the color.”

“Oh my god. I have to go to work. Don’t die. Or do, I won’t stop you.”

Keito hangs up before Eichi can point out that as a manga artist he makes his own hours, but the dial tone only makes Eichi laugh. Tanzanite it is, then. The necklace really is rather gorgeous, a choker with roses engraved into the setting for the gemstone, and as Eichi dials the number for the auctioneer to find out if he can derail the auction entirely, he knows that whatever it takes, that necklace will be his. It’s perfect - something so ornate and rare can’t fail to attract the attention of a phantom thief who apparently only steals for the thrill. And despite Keito’s objections, Eichi is more determined to meet him than ever.

Somewhere, Wataru Hibiki sneezes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It sure has been six months since I uploaded when I wanted to update weekly... Hopefully things go better this time, but I make no promises.
> 
> You can all thank my boyfriend for this update! They said this story was the reason they thought I was cool and I had a little inspiration (:

Wataru prides himself on performing each task he sets for himself perfectly. This leaves no room for extenuating circumstances such as a lack of sleep due to gallivanting in the night for his self-appointed second job. If he can’t do things properly, he’s fit to be neither a chef nor a phantom thief. So even though his eyes feel drier than bone and his body aches with exhaustion, his hands are steady. He chops vegetables with the same precision as always, cooks on the stove without burning himself, and garnishes each plate beautifully.

Lunch flies by, and as the restaurant quiets into the lull between lunch and dinner, his favorite waiter appears on his side of the kitchen. Natsume leans against the one wall clear of any tools or ornamentation, the longer side of his hair tucked behind his ear as it often is during his shifts. Wataru turns to face him with a flourish, the knife he’d been using to prepare cuts of meat for dinner glinting in the light as he pretends to handle it carelessly. But Natsume doesn’t flinch. Natsume never flinches.

“Ah, if it isn’t my darling Natsume~! Welcome to my domain! What brings you here—perhaps another cooking lesson? I may not require rest between shifts, but I am hardly human, and you’re a growing boy, so you should take the opportunity to sit for awhile.”

Natsume rolls his eyes fondly and begins rolling up his sleeves. “Tsumugi is working tonight; I need to be too tired to throttle him. He always forgets we changed the sections last month.”

Wataru nudges him with his shoulder affectionately, hands still busy even though his eyes are on his student. “Try to be kind to Tsumugi; he’s only a fool. He’s doing his best—which I admit, could be better—and while I am of course at your service, it’s best if we don’t have to hide his body.”

“Yeah, whatever. Pass me that knife?” Natsume begins cutting vegetables at the cutting board adjacent to Wataru’s. “Anyway, I didn’t come back here to talk about Tsumugi.” “Oh? Are you going to say you didn’t just come for more cooking lessons, either?” Wataru responds, a knowing twinkle in his eye.

“Come on, it’s all over the news! You did another one last night!” Natsume, who is not yet as skilled as Wataru, has to stop using his knife as he looks up to practically sparkle at him. “Tell me about it! What happened? Why did you set off the fire alarm? Did you almost get caught?”

“Hm, Itsuki always says I shouldn’t involve you all in my ‘nighttime activities’ ~☆” Wataru teases, pretending to consider how much he should say, but at Natsume’s answering groan, he continues. “Well, it went smoothly. The Arakawas have a lovely home. When I passed a fire alarm, I was simply taken by the vision of an escape made under the showers of the sprinklers, the police realizing at the very moment the water hit their shoulders that they’d been foiled again! Ah, it was a beautiful spark of improv, if I do say so myself!”

Natsume grins. “You do such amazing things… During the day, you make the best food I’ve ever tasted, and at night, you’re the infamous Phantom Thief of the city. I could learn a lot from you~!”

“Nonsense; I’ve taught you nothing.”

“You’re my teacher, though!” Natsume insists, going back to work when he realizes Wataru is even further ahead than he should be. “I always learn something from you, and that’s rare, you know? Even the chefs at school haven’t taught me anything like this.”

“If you’ve learned anything from me, then it’s from your own diligence.” Wataru can be at least as stubborn as Natsume, and he doesn’t budge. “Fold your fingers under your knuckles before you cut yourself.” He can practically feel the words pushing at the backs of Natsume’s teeth, itching to point out that that’s technically teaching him something even if it’s something he already knows, but respect keeps them locked away, and Natsume folds his fingers without another comment.

Wataru smiles and begins humming to himself as he works.

~*~

When the necklace arrives, it’s perfect. Luckily, Eichi thinks the house he lives in is a perfect setting, so he has it delivered right there. It’s small, for a Tenshouin estate, but secluded, and grand for its size - he can practically see it on the pages of one of Keito’s manga, a phantom thief sneaking into the manor to steal a precious treasure, only to make away with the maiden’s heart instead. Eichi isn’t sure he’d say he has a maiden’s heart, but this phantom thief is free to take the empty husk from his chest if he desires it. Well, he’ll have to steal it, though. Eichi wants to see him work.

Keito refuses to speak to him about any of this, but Eichi can imagine the way he’d scold him for being dramatic. He’s installed a display case in one of the upstairs sitting rooms, the one that his mother would say is more for decor than for actually sitting in, but has an attached kitchenette. Eichi doesn’t understand the need for more than one kitchen in a house, nevermind if there’s an -ette at the end of the word, but he’s glad for it now as he stores tea and cookies there for his anticipated visitor.

The unfortunate thing about luring a phantom thief is all the waiting. Eichi has never been a patient person, but there is little to do besides draw attention to his new purchase and hope to catch a specific person’s eye. He starts going out to get the mail himself, wanting to be the first person to see that bouquet of flowers he is looking for. He tries to complain to Keito about the phantom thief taking so long, but Keito only tells him he shouldn’t be hoping for such a visitor anyway. After a few days though, Keito reminds him that the thief has only just returned the last item he’d stolen, the one that had caught Eichi’s attention in the first place, so of course he wouldn’t have left anything for Eichi even if he was coming, which for Eichi’s sake, he hopes he isn’t.

And when a full week passes, Eichi only gets more restless, prompting Keito to renew his efforts to ban Eichi from speaking about the phantom thief at all. Eichi merely responds that if Keito wants him to talk about something else, he should make his life more interesting; he’s either going to lure this thief or die of boredom. There is nothing Keito can do to stop Eichi from constantly bothering him about the mystery man he is so interested in.

That is, until he opens his front door and sees a bouquet of dahlias on his porch with a jester carefully tucked inside and he promptly forgets about Keito entirely. God, of course he’d chosen dahlias, was he making fun of Eichi? Or was it a simple comment, that he liked Eichi’s choice of necklace? He hoped so, it would have to make a good impression if the thief thought he had good taste, and okay maybe Keito was right to be concerned that Eichi was so intent on making a good impression on a thief.

He plucks the card out from between the petals; he’s watched enough television to know the police would rather he didn’t, but then, he has no intention of calling the police, so it doesn’t matter now, does it? The joker’s face looks back up at him, covered by the words “tanzanite necklace, 0:00” in shimmering gold. He wonders what kind of tea this phantom thief with gorgeous handwriting likes.

He doesn’t even head back inside, still gazing down at the cursive handwriting as he presses the two on his cell phone without looking at it.

“You know I have other things to do with my existence besides listen to you whine, Eichi?”

“Keito.”

“I’m serious, if you are going to greet me every morning with a monologue about this ‘gentleman thief’ I am rescinding our friendship, I’ve just about had enough—”

“He left the flowers. He’s coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dahlias - good taste

**Author's Note:**

> Monkshood - Beware; a deadly foe is near


End file.
